NEW YORK — (AP) — Designer Prabal Gurung has always been a storyteller. First, it was through the colorful, Nepal-inspired designs that helped him find early success in the cutthroat fashion world. Now, he's sharing his life story in words with his bold new memoir, "Walk Like A Girl."
The book, out Tuesday from Penguin Random House, traces his South Asian roots — born in Singapore, he grew up in Nepal and spent time in India — and difficult childhood. He would eventually move to New York to study at the Parsons School of Design, interning for Donna Karan and later working for Cynthia Rowley and Bill Blass. He started his own label in 2009, and has dressed celebrities including Michelle Obama, Kate Middleton, Zoe Saldaña and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Gurung, 46, says processing his childhood experiences with an abusive father at home and bullies and predators at school in order to write and record the book was the hardest thing he’s ever done.
“I really hadn’t told too many people, not even my close friends. To relive that part and to write it down … it was harrowing, I won’t lie,” Gurung told The Associated Press.
“It really brought back so many memories and … it’s less of an anger. It’s more like the injustice of the situation. More than anything else, I just wanted to go back to that kid and like, give him a hug … and just be like, ‘You’re gonna be OK,’” Gurung said, choking back tears.
Despite being teased and struggling academically, Gurung always thought he was destined for a bigger life: “I don’t know, I just had it in me. I think it was survival also a lot of times.”
One bright light that kept him going was the unwavering love and support of his mother, Durga Rana. She's the hero of the book, encouraging him to follow his passions and find joy wherever possible, even though his interest in fashion and experimentation with makeup and feminine clothing was highly unconventional in Nepal at the time.
Surviving a marriage with an unfaithful, abusive husband, she essentially raised three young children on her own. Rana developed several successful businesses and eventually got into politics, telling her kids to use their platforms to make an impact.
“She’s a blueprint of my strength. Watching her carry the weight of the world with such elegance, you know, was really inspiring,” Gurung said. “The way she built the world around us, unbowed, unapologetic, was, I would say, my first lesson in resilience.”
The book’s title and cover are a purposeful nod to the designer’s love of women. “Walk Like a Girl” was something kids said to tease him at school.
“I just didn’t understand it as an insult in the beginning because I think ‘Great, I’m like my mother, my sister, all these women.’ ‘Wonder Woman’ was my favorite action hero, and ‘Charlie’s Angels,’” Gurung said.
He decided to reclaim the phrase and chose his strength pose for the cover in honor of Rosie the Riveter and other “iconic, feminist women.”
Cindi Leive, the former editor-in-chief of Glamour and Self magazines, championed Gurung early on because of his authenticity on and off the runway.
“It became clear to me that he was incredibly interested not just in fashion as fashion, but in the women who would wear the clothes,” Leive told the AP. “I also noticed that every time I would have a conversation with him, he would end up talking about his mom.”
Gurung couldn't wait to get to the U.S.; he felt immediately at home in New York, a place he sees as the best culmination of people, cultures and creative freedom, he writes. But he was surprised and disappointed by the general lack of diversity on runways and at social events.
“My recollection is he was one of the first to use models who more closely resembled the diversity of people that you actually see in America … in size, race and everything else,” Leive said.
Gurung's runway casting was only part of his commitment to inclusion. Now a Met Gala mainstay, Gurung uses his platform to speak out about injustice and women's rights issues, which, at the beginning of his career was not a popular stance, leaving him feeling "like a lone ranger." He recalled the emails and messages he used to get saying, "Oh, stay in your lane, you're a fashion designer ... not a politician."
“He was very open about his support for issues that mattered to women, long before it was a thing. Eventually, I think, every designer had some, you know, slogan T-shirt proclaiming their support of women’s causes. He did it before anybody, but it went way deeper than the T-shirt,” Leive said.
“I’ll never forget when Cindi Leive at a dinner said to me — right after George Floyd’s murder and all of that stuff that happened, the Black Lives Matter movement,” Gurung said. “She pulled me aside, she said, ‘How does it feel now … to see the world catching up to you? You’ve been at it for such a long time.’ I didn’t even think about it.”
Part of Gurung's story is being a proud immigrant, and his connection to his Nepali roots come through in his designs. Indian-born American designer Bibhu Mohapatra has been friends with Gurung since they were both starting out, bonding over their South Asian roots. He says Gurung is "naturally curious" and has always been a great storyteller.
“Whether he’s doing a jewelry collection, whether it’s a piece of clothing or a whole collection, it’s always sort of backed by receipts of his experiences that are his tools of telling a story … whether about craft, whether it’s about color, whether it’s about his heritage, or simply people in his life, the designer said. “You believe it because it comes from a very authentic place.”
Mohapatra also admires Gurung’s “naturally rebellious streak” and his courage to speak out for causes he values.
“He’s brave to be the first one or join the force with people who are starting a movement,” the designer said.
Mohapatra also suggests Gurung's spiritual side and roots add to his work and his ability to empathize: "There is an aspect of slowing down, really attention to the core and looking back at the path and … there is a bit more spirituality woven into the daily lives of people of Nepal."
Gurung says he hopes the book resonates with readers and encourages them to share their own stories.
“I want people to really understand that their existence, their story is worthy of being told, that they don’t have to hide themselves, they’re no longer invisible,” he said. “I know I’m on the cover, it’s my name and my story, but it really is a story about, for, and of so many people.”
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